Adam, I regret to inform you that at 1:19 in the AM of Thursday the 11th of March 2021 I made a grave error that will affect both of our lives forevermore.
In a sleep deprived state I mistook your toothbrush for mine and, regretfully, placed it in mine own mouth. I brushed the pearly whites that reside within and only realised upon completing the task that the brush was, in fact, not the familiar purple colour I’ve come to know and love. It was blue. The colour of your beautiful eyes. I foresee the disappointment brimming within them even as I write this.
I graciously accept the only appropriate ruling for committing such a heinous act as this: death.
You may carry out the order whenever you see fit. My only request is that you provide me a mere 15 minutes notice so I can pop down to the 7/11 and enjoy a sweet Krispy Kreme before my final breath is taken from me.
Yours sincerely and in good faith,
Love rainy days? Read this short story!