Birthdays. Who’d have ’em?

I turned 26 this week.

My little sister turns 23 this year.

My 5 year old nephew is almost taller than me.

In 4 years I’ll be 30.

I think I’m having a quarter life crisis.

Help.

Honestly, why does it feel like it was just last week that I was graduating high school, a month ago that I was starting primary school, and a year ago that I was exiting the womb, forcing my parents into ‘oh shit, we have an actual human baby’ mode?

The older I get, the quicker it seems that these kind of moments fly by and I’m not at all prepared for them to pass exponentially faster as I gradually succumb to the pull of time.

I mean, it’s fine. Whatever. It happens to everyone. It’s a part of life. No, scrap that. It’s literally the only thing in life that is certain; the steady, unrelenting race towards death as the years go by. Unless you’re one of those celebrities who never seem to age *coughWillSmithcough*, the time we spend on this heck of a planet is inevitably going to come to an end, whether by our choosing or by forces beyond our control.

Unless technology steps in, no one alive on this planet today will be alive in 100 years. How weird is that? A whole new bunch of humans will be inhabiting the Earth in that short span of time. It’s honestly mind blowing.

If you’re feeling a bit down in the dumps after reading those last few paragraphs, good. Think about it a little longer. Too many people ignore their own mortality, and the mortality of the people they love because they don’t like to think about things that upset them.

I try to contemplate it as often as possible, without letting it corrode my soul. Why? Because each time I delve into that train of thought I come away with a new appreciation for some little thing in my life that I would miss if I were no longer around.

Am I scared of dying? Yes and no. I’m not scared of dying in itself because I know that it is inevitable. I’m scared of two things relating to dying:

  1. Dying painfully (because honestly, fuck that).
  2. Leaving behind the wonderful things in my life (perhaps even worse than the thought of dying painfully).

Getting older sucks but I’ve just realised that in writing this post, I now know that I only think of it that way because it means I’m getting closer to the end of my time here and having to face those 2 fears I mentioned above. Even though I may have a fair amount of time left, each birthday is a little reminder that time is slowly ticking.

All things considered, I do have a good life. And so do the majority of you all reading this. Just try to remember that. Use your time here wisely and try to think of the things you appreciate as often as you can.

Anyway, thanks for sticking through this entirely morbid post that started off as me yapping about my birthday, then evolved into a serious discussion about death. The colourful header image was quite the misdirect, wasn’t it?

Go and have some chocolate. Get some endorphins in your system. You’ve earned it.

Catch you later,

Kates

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